Mentoring Relationships: Mentoring Moments Monday

Mentoring relationships have had a significant impact on my growth in the Lord. For the past 20 years I have sought out mentors for myself and tried to mentor those younger than me in their faith.

Some of these relationships have been set up formally, meeting together weekly for Bible study or monthly to work on ministry projects together. Others have been informal, just talking over coffee. These women have listened to me when I was struggling, challenged me when I was in sin, laughed with me about daily events and encouraged me in the Lord.

So how do you find a mentor? Many women hope in vain for a phone call from an older woman, offering to mentor them. I have found it more productive to take a pro-active approach. When evaluating the suitability of a mentor, I ask myself many questions, such as, "Is this a godly woman? Do I respect this woman? Is this woman seeking to live for God? Will this woman encourage me in my walk with the Lord? Is there something I can offer to this woman?" and other questions of that nature.

I shy away from women who gossip, women who don't speak respectfully of their husbands and women who seem negative about their kids. I know several older women who I would enjoy spending more time with, but I have to limit these relationships to a select few, due to time constraints. Some of my mentors live so far away now that we have to rely on email and only get to see one another occasionally.

The next step in finding a mentor is being intentional in the relationship. When I was a new Christian I met regularly for prayer and Bible study with a couple of women who were more mature in their walk with the Lord. Other times, I have chosen to get involved in ministries in order to serve under the leadership of a woman I admire. Most of the time these relationships are more informal. I will invite an older woman to my home or out to coffee, purposefully seeking out opportunities to spend time with her. Usually there is no set agenda. I just know that spending time with godly women will yield fruit in both of our lives.

If you don't have any mentoring relationships, I would encourage you to be intentional and proactive in seeking out a mentor. Don't wait by the phone for her to call you first.

How we got started in Youth Birding

My middle boys and I just returned last night from the 3rd annual Georgia Youth Birding Competition. The Lord really blessed their time as they swept their age division (Pre-Elementary, K-2nd grade), winning 3 awards. They raised the most money for conservation, over $500 for the American Bird Conservancy. They also spotted the most species, identifying 82 species in a 24 hour period. They won a prize for being most improved also, having increased their total of species from 51 last year.

My friend Dawn and I have done a lot to train our boys, all ages 6 to 8 right now. We've been working with them for two years already, and their knowledge of birding has already far surpassed our own. Their love of birding has been infectious, and both of our families are actively involved in this educational and fun pass-time.

I wanted to share with you some of the things we have been doing to teach these boys and build their love of birding. My youngest son is 3 now, and this has been a part of his life since he could walk and talk. If you take a gentle approach, and incorporate play, you can begin these things early.

These boys first grew to love birds through Jeannie Fulbright's science book, Flying Creatures of the Fifth Day: Apologia science for Young Explorers. There is a link at the bottom of the page, under Thoughts About Curriculum, if you want more info on this great science series. Once they were done with that science book, there was no stopping them. They wanted to learn as much about birds and birding as they could.

My boys Knox and Colin were just 3 and 5 when we did that book. We spent lots of time watching birds at the feeders outside our windows, building birdhouses, taking nature walks around our neighborhood, and other simple activities. When they were just 4 and 6 years old, they decided to participate in the 2nd annual Georgia Youth Birding Competition. They had about 9 months to "train". In the beginning, we spent a lot of time working on how to use binoculars. We hid Easter Eggs around the yard, and had them each practice finding an egg in their binocs. They had to learn how to describe where the eggs were located to their teammate, the teammate had to then locate the egg and tell which color it was. During the competition, adults are not allowed to say "Look over there, see that bird?" so they had to spot birds on their own, find them in binocs, and describe the location to their friends.

This was a big challenge when they were just 4 and 6 years old, as they had to learn right from left, and how to communicate location to someone else, how to find something visually with their eyes, then how to find it in their binocs without losing it. It was much easier with eggs than birds, though, because eggs don't move. After some practice like this they could begin to spot birds and describe location to one another.

We also found that investing in some decent binoculars was key. Many people don't want to spend any money on young kids tools, but if the tools aren't good, they won't want to stick with it. Think how frustrating it is for you when you have poor binocs. It is even more important for them, as they need all the help they can get!

We started them off with Leupold Yosemite 6 x 30 binocs. I wrote Kenn Kaufman (author of Kaufman Field Guide to Birds of North America and many other books) personally to get his recommendation, as he works with lots of youth birders. These were great....sturdy, they can take some banging around, low price point (we got ours on Ebay for $65), yet good enough quality to really work for the kids....plus they are very lightweight and they are excellent for children because they can adjust for very close-set eyes. For our 3 year old, we bought a plastic set of binoculars at a Wild Birds Unlimited store. For about $10 these plastic ones (available in blue and red) are much better than most of the cheapies sold at Walmart. He is not doing a lot with his binocs, but wants to be like the big boys. Our 3 yo has been accompanying us on most of our birding expeditions for at least a year now. It is a normal part of his life, and he has learned how to be quiet and how to look through his binocs, too.

We make lots of use of sound products, too. We didn't start out with this, but have collected them over the past 3 years as the boys knowledge and interest has grown. The boys both have an Identiflier, which is a hand-held machine that takes cards...each card plays 10 calls. They also like Les Beletsky's 250 Birds (with digital audio player of the calls), and Peterson's Birding by Ear and More Birding by Ear. They listen to the Birding By Ear CDs many nights as they are falling asleep (they LOVE them!) We play games with the Identiflier, playing a call and seeing if they can recognize it. Much of their success with finding 82 birds was done Birding by Ear, by the way. They have memorized well over 100 calls.

The youngest teammember just turned 6 last week, and he successfully competed in the competition last year just days after his 5th birthday. We have found that the BEST thing for these little birders have been the Audubon plush birds. They are like plush stuffed animals that play the bird's call (calls recorded by Cornell Ornithology Lab). Between the two of them, my boys have TONS of these birds, which they have been collecting for at least 2 years now. They buy them with their own money, ask for them for birthdays and Christmas, earn them as rewards, etc. They know all the markings and calls for every plush bird they own, and play with them as toys all the time. Even my 3 year old owns some (Pileated Woodpecker, Barn Swallow, Killdeer, and a few others) and he can name all of them and recognize most of the calls. We play games with the 6 and 8 yo boys where I hide 15 birds in a pillowcase, at random, and squeeze them (playing the calls) and they have to name the call....then the bird is revealed to see if they got it right. They have learned the calls and field marks of these birds just by playing, which is IMO the very best way for children to learn. We buy these Audubon plush birds online from Ship the Web.

We also have purchased the North American Bird Notebooking Set. This set enables the boys to color in a picture of the birds, and has lines where they can write its name, write some notes about it, and even blank maps where they can draw in the range map themselves, allowing them to create their own bird guide. They loved studying the range maps and drawing those in before they could even read or write....in the early days, the range maps and photos were the only part of their guides they could study on their own, so they pored over that information when I wasn't available to help them with all the words.

As for field guides, we started out with a Stokes beginners guide to Birds of the Eastern Region. This guide is color coded, with a red tab for red birds, a yellow tab for yellow birds, etc. This allowed the boys to see something at the feeder and quickly turn to the right COLOR section to look for it.

After that, we got Kaufman guides for them, which were easier to use than the Sibley guide intially, as birds are grouped according to common characteristic rather than taxonomically. This was a big advantage for the children, to be able to look up the birds of prey section, or "pigeon like birds" section, etc. There is a pictorial table of contents, with color tabbed sections. The index is easier for a new reader, too, as there is a quick find one-page index in addition to the longer index, and in the quick-find index there is a color tab so they know what section to turn to visually. This enables them to use the guide fairly easily on their own. They have Sibley Guides, too, and they have All the Birds, which is a favorite....but when trying to ID a new bird, they always grab Kaufman first.

No amount of book learning can take the place of birding in the field, of course. We started with lots of seed and hummingbird feeders in our yard...then we began birding at state parks and National Wildlife Refuges around our state. We have started taking our gear along whenever/wherever we go for vacation, and have been blessed to spot many new species that don't live in our own state this way.

We have been blessed by mentoring opportunities, as well. Last year a local birdwatcher spent time in the field with all our boys, helping them identify species and locate what lives in which habitat. My 8 yo son Knox and I had the opportunity to spend a day birding with Paul Miliotis this year, and the knowledge he passed on in that one day will stick with us for a lifetime. I know less about birds than my 8 year old does now, so there is only so much I can do to facilitate his training. He quickly surpassed me, and now most of what I can do is get him great tools and give him opportunities to use them. Having mentors who are willing to go out in the field with us from time to time, pointing out birds, teaching about habitat, etc. is invaluable. Contact your local audubon society, state parks or National Wildlife refuges to see if they can put you in contact with a mentor once your kids get to the stage where they need more experienced educators.

Another idea would be to encourage your state's Department of Natural Resources to hold a youth birding competition in your state. This competition has done a lot for youth birders in our state, to motivate and encourage them, to put them in touch with mentors, and to provide them with great tools, which are donated by businesses like Eagle Optics, Identiflier and T.E.R.N. as prizes.

I could write much more. These are just a few of the ways we have been helping our young birders grow in their knowledge of birding. The more they learn, the more they enjoy their birding experiences...the more they want to learn...it is a wonderful cycle. They have already far surpassed mommy in her knowledge of birds, but I love accompanying them and enjoying these experiences together. These youth birders have really passed their love of birding on to the whole family, parents and siblings alike, and it has become an enriching pass-time for the whole family.

I hope this information is helpful to some of you looking to develop a love of birding in your children or grandchildren!!

Resources for Devotions

We have used lots of different devotional materials with our children over the years. Here are some of our favorites:

The Child's Story Bible by Catherine Vos is a great Bible for reading aloud to your children. We usually read out of the NIV, but we have enjoyed using this Bible, too, especially for Old Testament stories. It is meaty enough for older children, yet the stories are written simply enough for younger ones to understand, so it is perfect for families to read together.

We are currently using Balancing the Sword for our morning devotions. There are two volumes, and each volume has several factual questions for every single chapter in the Bible. The questions can be answered from the passage, and there aren't any interpretation questions included. Everything has a concrete answer from the passage. Our kids are learning to listen carefully to the passage so they can answer the questions afterward.

Window on the World is a great prayer atlas for kids. We have been using the older version of the same book for many years. This book will help your kids learn about people in other countries, and guide them with prayer requests.

We like to study the catechism with our kids, too. The catechism is a way for children to be able to learn the basic tenets of theology. Too many in the church do not understand even the basics of the Christian faith. Teaching the catechism is one way to ratify this. We have used Teaching Hearts, Training Minds with our oldest child and Big Truths for Little Kids with our younger ones. We don't always do catechism devotionals. Sometimes we just memorize portions of the catechism and talk about them, using the Westminster Shorter Catechism for our oldest and The First Catechism for Children for our children ages 2-8. Both the Shorter Catechism and the First Catechism for Children can be bought from Great Commission Publications for about $1 apiece.

Another book I like for teaching theology to young children is Leading Little Ones to God by Schooland. This book has several units covering topics such as Creation, God the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. Each unit has a several two-page chapters.

We have read Helen Taylor's Little Pilgrim's Progress twice through for devotions, and I have no doubt that we will read it again one day. It is a family favorite. Each chapter is just 2 or 3 pages long, so it is easily implemented. The children always beg for more, but there is enough application in this story, which is based on John Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress, to encouarge mom and dad, too!

For our Scripture memory we are using the Foundation Verses and the Fighter Verses from Desiring God Ministries. They sell small metal knights to give out when children meet memory goals and our boys love earning these.

The Ripple Effect

Have you ever wondered, in the quiet of the night, whether being a mother is truly valuable? How does a mother find significance in her ministry to her children, even when it is mundane?

The first step is in remembering that our ministry to our children does not stop with them. We need to have a vision for the future generations even now. I am not doing all of this for my children alone, but for their children and their children’s children.

It is not enough to have a vision for our own children only. The Lord has promised faithfulness to a thousand generations of those that love him. We should not merely try to hang on and hope for the best in our children. We should be actively working and praying toward the fulfillment of God's promise within our own family for generations to come.

This is the secret of why a woman’s ministry to her children, in her small sphere at home, can be so powerful. Our children are going to be the pastors and politicians and missionaries and authors and college professors of tomorrow. They will also be fathers and husbands, mothers and wives!

It is in our homes that these future Christian leaders will be evangelized and trained, and it is our duty before God, along with our husbands, to see that this is done as unto the Lord!

Let us be content, even in this small sphere. The ripples of what we do in our lives will be felt in the generations to come. Our influence is greater than we realize.

For more on The Value of Motherhood, listen to my podcast on this blog, or join me Wednesday night at 8 pm CST at the Ultimate Homeschool Expo, when I will be sharing more about the source of a mother's value and significance.

"I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments." Exodus 20: 5-6

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